Friday, September 30, 2005
[ you never know how i actually feel.. how much i wanted to be.. yet how much i cant be.. a relationship is not just about loving.. we have to be suitable too..why am i not the one? i really need to change ma?]
being with u for so long... 2years going to 3 le ba... tis is the first time i can see ur reaction towards a guy... i dunno wat i feel is rite or wrong... but i jus dun wanna ask u anything in order not to stress u or quarrel with u... so i keep quiet... not tat i dun dare to ask , not i dun bother... is jus i wan to know from u... i know when is time to say u'll tell me ba... ur feelings is with me or not i reli dunno it at all... i can feel it.. but i scare wat i feel is wrong... totally wrong... being together with u i feel happy... but i didnt knew if u're happy too... i hope one day u'll tell me the truth abt ur own feelings...
is been a long time we never reli had a nice talk heart to heart together le... mayb u dun haf the mood?? or i dun even wan to say anything?? no one knows...
wat i can console u is... do wat u think is rite.... if u reli feel so miserable... then change for him ba... i know is hard for u to change but.... u got to do smth in order both get hurts in the end ya... u knoe ur own character most well... wat type of gal u wan to be in future... the decision is urs....
i see wat u type.. been thinking should i keep quiet n dun ask u anything?? or jus act blur as if i dunno anything... but so sorry i cant... i cant see my love one being sad n i jus dun do anything... so i hope u reli can treAT me as ur close friends to talk to me too.... i can be ur listening ear too... jus like the past.... i'm still the same old me... even i feel sad so wat?? i'm facing the fact... cos i know i'll never be able to give u a heart warm family no matter wat happens... so i hope i can help my love one to find her happiness too....
baby... i'm here... i'm always here... dun treat me like an invisiable person... u can share ur burden with me too... give me the chance to do watever things tat i can do for you...
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
00:16
Thursday, September 29, 2005
sorry!!!sorry!!!sorry!!!
u're not naggy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm naggy kk..............................
i wont say anything bad to u anymore....
do u knoe the way u jus treated me, make me wanted to drop my tears??
nvm.... sorry............................
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
11:02
hey... my baby do for me de ... nice ma?? heez... simple n nice rite?? haha... thanks baby!! muackz... muackz... :)
hmmm... wat should i say?? had a busy day ytd?? tiring sia... celebrate xiao mei bday at my hse... cook steam boat for her... wake up in e early morning to cook 2 eggs for baby to eat... cos is her chinese bday ya... after tat we headed to market to buy all the stuff for steam boat ya... we bought alot of things sia... and things for my hse!! now then i know baby is so naggy!!! bought alot of stuff to use at home ya.. like all no need money de we jus buy buy buy!!! haha... we reach hm le then tidy awhile then go find my mummy le... to take the steam boat stuff... we oso take one manjong table and a manjong tiles sia... haha... save money worz... alot of things had to carry so no choice i asked my uncle to send us back le... we still went to teban market buy things before go hm sia... looks like things wont buy finish de... heez... baby nag sia... say if she go work as air stewess then who'll buy all tis things for me le?? haha... i reply: then i'll go work in e ship like u , so i wont be able to use finish my stuff and wait for u to come back and buy for me.... haha.. wak a joke rite?? heez... mayb 5years down the road... she wont even bother abt me le ar... OpPs.... lalalalalalalalalalalalala.........
things wont be the same anymore...
everythngs...every feelings... everyone... is changing....
even the world is changing..
but why am i the same old me??
am i going to tell myself tat ther's no true love in life??
or am i going to say ther's no real life in the world??
no one knows....
sometimes hiding the truth is good...
it'll be better for the other party....
grown up is a very good thing....
make me feel mature so much suddenly... heez.. i'm not a small kid anymore... i'm not going to let any other bad feeling to make me cry.... make me feel sad anymore.. i'll face the truth... no matter how bad or how worst it can be... i'll still maintain as wat i'm till today....
[to the gal tat i love most]
if i still had a breathe, i'll never leave you..
i'll always be ther for you till the day i had to rest in peace...
till my last breathe, i'll want to be by ur side...
if the sky falls, let me be the one to hold for you...
if no one bothers abt u, then let me be the one to bother...
no one else come close....
i love you...
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
10:22
Monday, September 26, 2005
好想和你一起
好想一起分享每一刻
好想每天听到你的声音
好想你在我身边明明相爱的两个人等着对方说要离开
如果我的离开能换回快乐的你我是否真的因该离开?
如果没有我的出现你会过得好一点吗?
是我的错。。。
爱却不能说出口。。。
this is nice... one day... this will applies to me le ba.....
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
21:55
i may not be perfect... i may not be the one u love... i may not be the one u reli need...i may not be the one tat u'll think of ... mayb not even the one u'll called whenever u're down... but i know i can do my best for everything jus for you...
loving is jus blind... everyone is blinded by love.... i admit i'm one of them too...
Wat's is LOVE?? love isn't u had to love a person wholeheartedly?? love the way she/he is?? no matter wat type of person she/he is u gotta accept it... if ther's no love then why is ther relationship/couples?? so many couples were so loving yet some were jus on pending... at times, i did envy others couples tat can last so long so long... but ended up the realtionship still break up... so i shouldn't envy other ppl le ba... i think i should let ppl envy me le ya... i get wat i want... i can be with my beloved gal tat i love so much so much... to see her smile... to protect her ... to give her the best out of the best... i'm happy le... i'm being blessed by my friends...
i decided to put away all my sadness into the deep blue sea... and never search it back anymore... i wanna share all my happness jus with you...
cAn i??? do i hAf the chance??hmMmMm.........
[even if the sky falls.... i'll still be the one to hold it for you...]
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
21:12
wake up dame early today... waken up by my baby.... cos she had a nitemare ya... tat she dun even realise ya... she cried... mayb friends reli upsad her cos she seem so lonely crying out tat make me awake...or smth bothering her tat i didnt even know??... haiz.... baby... dun think so much kk... i'll be by ur side ya... i'm still here!! :)
went to interview with baby's accompany.... heez... thanks.. :) but seem unsuccessful... the job i still need time to considerate ba... if i reli take in e job, then no time for baby le... should i or not?? reli confused!! i scare i'm bothering her too much le... does she still need me by her side?? or she need was someone else by her side?? hmmm.. am i thinking too much again.. i reli very lost now... i knew she misses someone alot alot... but i choose to keep quiet n dun ask her anything... mayb i jus dun wanna know the truth abt everything?? her holiday is finishing soon... i dun know how long i still can be by her side but i'll cherish it ya... hope she does too...
[][][][]thinking[][][][]missing[][][][]loving[][][][]
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
20:55
Friday, September 23, 2005
being lazy sia ... nowadays slp in late night n wake up in e late afternoon... like pig sia... hmmm... no work seem bored too sia.... heez... dunno wat i wan sia... got work oso complain no work oso complain... oPps... :x
am i not me anymore?? i seem so happy now cos being with u is wat i wan... quarrels reli make us be closer ma?? dun reli bare to leave u ya... for tis few weeks before u start ur school.. i wanna keep tis meomory btw us... jus simply love u so much...
am i lying to myself?? i can torealate everything... i choose not to show my sadness in front of u... cos i onli wan u to remember my smile on me.. the happy part of me... the happy memory of us...
baby: u're so cute so cute... make me soften my heart... make me love u more when each day passes... i reli dunno how to leave u nor seeing u with other guy... but to see u get ur own happness in hand... i got to leave u ba... u jus love to make me smile...make me cant stop seeing u...leaving u seems so miserable :( [i may not be the one tat u love most now... but u're still the one tat i love most... ALWAYS... deep down in my heart...] i'm jus speechless :(
to all my friends: i wanna go to help my uncle le... working at a ship.. so i wont be very free le... mizz me muz faster meet me kk... or i'll be MIA very soon le ar before i start my work... after my baby n bro birthday i'll start working le!! NO JOKING... pls meet me!!! cos i miss u guys too... sob sob... i dun wish to go ther work de but no chioce ya cos i need money ... i wan to earn lots of money to go JAPan with my baby.... heez.... :)
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
03:07
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
hey...long time no blog again ar... i'm jus being lazy ya... or being busy?? heez...
i did alot alot of things ya.. went sun tanning.... play manjong... n lastly, i finally attend my rc bike lesson le... heez... luckily, i still can control e bike well as before ya... haha... :)
now i jus need to pass my ttt n rtt then can take my last 3 lesson le... aHeM!!! anyway i now oso not working le... so i goanna make use of tis time to take my bike n pei all my friends... esp . my BABY!!!! heez...
lesly mei mei... ur birthday is coming... i didnt knoe wat to buy for u... may b shall celebrate out with u ba...arrange one day kk... let me know cos i'm dame free now le... waiting for ur call kk... mizz u lots n my bro ar...
bro bro & baby BIRTHDAY coming too le worz... oPpS... DUN know wat to buy too....hMmMm... i need to go shopping le ya.... to shop ard for present... heez... :) [HEADACHE]
after their bithday, i think goanna start work le ba... my new job think willl be working in ship line as a admit ya... heez... excited sia.. never been ther to work before....but haven confirm cos din know wat's e working lifestyle is abt ya... so shall update again ya...
someone is disturing me le till i cant blog anymore le!!!!!!!!!!!!
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
01:08
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
hey hey.... long time no come online blog le ar... hmmmm... cos i'm very sick n busy ya... haha... dame tired...
being late again today when going to work... kana scolded again.. haiz... sob sob.... i knew is my fault but i'm reli sick tat's y make me overslept!!! they jus dun understand... but nvm ya, tis week is my last week le... going to quit le so can pei my baby n my bros!! haha...:)
i'm going to be jobless again ar... so keep me info if got any good job to offer me ya... heez... i'll take tis time to rest well n play well too... heez.. :)
yeah... yUpPer!!!!tml finally can go sun tanning le... is been so long so long i never step into sentosa le bah.... finally can go beach go sun tan with my bro n baby le... haha... i'm so excited abt tml ya... tml we gonna play manjong again worz... OpPs.... heez... is our hobby!!! cant stop playing ... i think we wont get retarded in early times le.... cos playing manjong is good for our mind n health ya... haha... [EXCUSES]
i'm so happy... dunno why... even i had so much stress... so much problems in hand... but i wont feel sad...i wont feel alone... thanks baby... for being ther... ur family reli give me a warmth heart.. give me a warm hse...thanks alot.. i love u lots lots lots.... nothing reli can replace u in my heart anymore le.... [u're my one and only baby]
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
01:55
Thursday, September 08, 2005
i dunno wat to blog oso.. hmmmm.. stop blogging le la... sian ar... feel like qutting my job le.. very stress.... is time to take a break le ba... let my mind n body rest ya... haha... oPpS... I'm being lazy ya... heez ;0)
BABY.....ling.... i'll be there for u guys de kk... haha... any problem jus come find me ya... i hink soon i'll be dame free le lor... no job le.. wanted to hunt for job again... haiz... hmm... i'm jus being lazy le... dunno wat to blog le la.... go sleep le... bye
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
00:28
Thursday, September 01, 2005
i miss you...alot...how i wish it'll never end...[love you]
i'm so stress over some stuff... my works... my family... everything... i dunno wat to do at all... all seem making me crazy le....i dun even dare to blog now... scare i say smth wrong?? haha... okie... i think i dun even bother ba... tis is my blog!! who cares rite....
hmmm.... suddenly i miss those days with ling.... sun zi... when we together... we had so so much funs...but now all seem so bz le ar... ahem...when is our next outing together?? heez....
tml finally going to my bike rc le worz... been slacking so long le... tml one short take all ya... i think tml i'll pass my ttt le la... cant effort to fail again le... cos someone is ther to pei me worz... my lucky star!! haha... oPps.... pray for me ya... -_-
hmmm.... my best frend dun even wan me le ar... he onli cares for his gaming now... dun even wan pei me le... he change le... sob sob... so angry n disappointed with him now.... haiz... nvm ... i shall be myself lor.. is fine with me... :(
y everything seem so selfish?? to get wat they wan they can jus do anything to get it... i jus cant do it... after tis job, then i know wat is selfish.... haiz... so miserable with my life now... i like force myself wearing a mask watever i do or whenever i go... i feel like crying out loud cos i cant take it anymore le... anyone wan lent me ur shoulder??? hmmmm.... i wanna stay strong but i mayb soft times too.... i can act as if i'm ok but it hurts in my heart..........
when i'll see myself smiling again without a mask......let's wait ba.... got to go....[back to work]
`heavenlove always stay in our hearts'
15:02
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